What’s the Glue? Jealousy and guilt hold most lasting relationships together, unless the couple is blessed to willingly stay together, or perhaps ever more blessed, to never have found each other in the first place. This really only applies to marriage. All other relationships are similar to going to school for that.
It is very special to meet someone who is trustworthy. That is why many people fantasize about leaders, impressive strangers, celebrities they do not know. Trusting another requires complete honesty within. Living virtuously is a prerequisite for that. Otherwise it honesty hurts too much. All the ills in the world can be recognized or not in heart of every human. We must grow accustomed to humiliation in increments. Self-respect is the bedrock of romantic or sexual intimacy, because it leads to unshakable faith in God, bringing humility and willingness to die of natural causes. This is perhaps a good reason to abstain from sexual liaisons labeled socially acceptable which are fishing for approval. Being honest leads to the fact that nothing is really needed. There is a higher plan at work. We are like cells in a larger system of cause and effect, unaware of a design which we can only imagine and dream of, which remains a mystery.
What causes our birthplace, the languages we learn, our strengths and weaknesses, our constitution, our chemistry, so to speak? There is a score of consequences which we are the result of, without even understanding how, whilst paradoxically we are free from being an end in itself if we practice this.
There is a great temptation to hand over our autonomy to a higher power. Even if I present to be responsible and try to not cause harm, if I am hoping that God, or my partner, my kids, my boss, or politics, even the weather, is to blame for me being in a rush for example, being blind, being tied up with obligations so that I ignore what really matters, my life is slipping through my fingers without any creative touch. Life is so precious. My life, my natal chart.
Death is another big motivator, along with jealousy and guilt, to keep couples together, the fear of aging and dying alone, which will inevitably happen anyway. I recon death is a more noble motivation to try and sustain a marriage than trying to make one’s partner jealous, or obliging them out of guilt. Death is the blissful reminder that we are EACH individually children of God and the Earth, not the planet earth, God’s consort, whose musings wasp throughout the universe where they meet.
The future is here, the match-makers. Sometimes I feel paranoid that there are spies trying to make my life more difficulty. There are spies trying to help us become better mates. The internet and the economy are a training system to ensure that people do not indulge in sex the way we indulge in sweets. Shall we wait until we have died to break up with each other, or can we find ways of educating the young, entering matrimony, and parting ways as is in keeping with the heart’s desire for joy, peace, company and safety? Death is the future. That we can be sure, but we have this time here now to consider what we are afraid of. Some people think that fears are petty, that we should enjoy life, but fears bring us to kneel before the Lord if we follow our thoughts about them to the end.
Wedding bands clearly do not prevent adultery, adultery of the space within us which symbolizes an invitation. The limits of this space have a specific form, the contours of which are traced by our adherence to morality. Conscience is not sacred. It is conditioned out of the past. Mindfulness is sacred. Consciousness does not worry about morality, because there is no attachment to this existence, to human beings sorting things out in this particular lifetime in any parallel reality. Conscience, at best, is a tool for learning to value honesty, an important skill but not a religion. Voila, I have been publicly converted.
Consciousness is superior to any belief system, because we can admit when we have made a mistake. We can forgive, let go and move on. Conscience is like having a ticket to a concert. It is the ear for listening to the supernatural spheres. Consciousness is a transcendent perspective allowing us to not need to go to the concert at all, or to go and not need to like the music necessarily. Mindfulness is a projection of this view within a personality. Consciousness is unshakable faith that everything can fall away, even the personality, and creation will carry on.
When we stop using others to fill the void bored by insecurity and doubt, we grow to enjoy solitude. The more time spent in solitude alone, the more consciousness dawns in one’s own experience. This reverence creates a world for future composers, musicians and instrument-makers without the personal need for inner peace. It is the umpf to complete one’s task regardless of anything else. This is what a good husband and wife can offer one another, the willingness to not partake in anything which does not align with what consciousness of the whole big picture condones. Conscience is a faculty I would venture even animals have. Human beings have a creative capacity to stand alone, even with the whole world against him or her, and choose whether or not to act. Animals have been around longer, and they seem to have come to a consensus to live abiding by conscience and not harm the ecosystem. Homosapiens can alter the ecosystem in ways other animals cannot, and this capacity is mostly done in the name of love, love which is held together by jealousy and guilt. I suggest it is time to learn a better way. School.
Death, fear and pain can help us stay on track. These are not conventions, which conscience is prey to. A pure conscience and consciousness are equivalent. Conscience while remaining in relationships stuck together with jealousy and guilt leads us far afield, and perhaps far towards our partial and impartial goals even, but it does not replace the glue which holds a happy marriage together. Conscience can be manipulated by jealousy and guilt. These are desperate attempts to avoid the powerlessness we may feel if the beloved leaves or betrays us. Wanting to avoid abandonment is only loving if it is wanting that for the other. Wanting that for oneself is not knowing who one really is and not having learned to appreciate solitude enough yet.There is a concert playing between all the chords of our hearts, and this music will not cease at death. It is only in solitude when we have some silence. I suspect death will be very noisy on a heart level, so this is the chance now to stop, to be trained and later to surreder, to desire my own happiness. So, what is the glue. Just glue. Think of it. Glue. Who came up with that? It’s enough to blow your mind. Wordless, invisible quiet poetry. We can peel off glue and start anew, but relationally, with all due respect to the current schedules, there is a rhythm in the stars.