Jealousy and guilt hold many lasting relationships together, unless the couple is blessed to have met their match. This really only applies. All other relationships are practice. Biological and spiritual evolution have been inherited through physical development, but these should be no excuse to substitute the past for self-respect, the bedrock of romantic/sexual intimacy.
It is very special to meet someone worthy to trust. That is why many people fantasize about leaders, impressive strangers, celebrities. Trusting the other requires complete honesty within as well. Living virtuously is a prerequisite for that, otherwise it just hurts a lot. All the ills in the world can be recognized, or not, in heart of every human. We must grow accustomed to humiliation in increments as we explore meaning of heart in our lives, and not be too hard on our selves if we lose track of such human threads. The best we can do is look to our elders and seek their approval. There is a higher plan at work, karma and reincarnation. We are not cells in a larger system of cause and effect, unaware of the design. We have been given the gift of imagination, to live freely and free others as well. Mistakes are the shared path, which remains a mystery. Being honest leads to the fact that nothing is really needed. This could be a good reason to abstain from labeling any liaisons as good or bad. Human development is felt as blindness.
What causes our birthplace, the songs we memorize, our strengths and weaknesses, our constitutions, values, our chemistry, so to speak? There is a score of consequences which we are the result of, without even understanding how, whilst paradoxically we are free from being an end in itself if. What causes all this are beings, only beings and forgiveness.
There is a great tendency to hand over our autonomy to a higher power. Even if I present pretend to be responsible and try not to harm, if I am hoping that God, a spouse, my kids, my boss, politics, or even the weather, is to blame for me being in a rush, for example, being tied up with obligations so that I ignore what really matters, my life is slipping through my fingers without any creative touch. Life is so precious. My life.
The future is here. Shall we wait until we die to break up, or can we find ways of educating the young, entering matrimony, and parting ways in keeping with the heart’s desire for joy, peace, company and safety? Death is the future, of that we can be sure, but we have this time here now to consider what we hope for and are afraid of. Some people say fears are petty, that we should enjoy life, but fears bring us to kneel and stand up again renewed if we follow our thoughts about them to the end.
Wedding bands clearly do not prevent adultery, adultery of inner space which symbolizes an invitation. The limits of space have a specific form, the contours of which are traced by our adherence to morality. Morals are not sacred. They is conditioned. Mindfulness is sacred. Consciousness does not worry about morality, because there is no attachment to this existence, to human beings sorting things out in this particular lifetime in any parallel reality. Conscience, is an encouragement to value honesty, and heeding it is an important skill but not a religion. The evolution of humanity is the journey of weaving together honesty and morality and sharing it with another person. Thus realties are not parallel but dancing as we always do here in outer space, the sense world, on the ground.
Denial is another big motivator, along with jealousy and guilt, to keep couples together, the notion of us and them. However, if I were in another situation, who’s to say if the outcomes are inevitable? I recon denial is a more noble motivation to try and sustain a marriage than intentionally trying to make one’s partner jealous or staying out of guilt. Denial can be blissful, but it is the cause of all the problems in the social and economic sphere. Blaming others erects a foundation of competition where jealousy and guilt flourish. Competition is what justifies domestic violence, repressing the beauty and uniqueness of the mating process. In order to find true happiness in marriage and dating, overcoming denial regarding our relationship the collective is the first step. Rather than project our jealousies and guilts onto a significant other, we can devote ourselves to a bigger picture. This commitment is tantamount to approaching the door of the astrologer who manages each child of nature and the universe.
There are modern attempts to love better, allowing polyamory, divorce, casual sex and gender role confusion. Granted, these are attempts to move beyond the primitive possessiveness of mating, but consciousness is superior to any belief system. Indigenous cultures may seem old-fashioned, because they don’t allow conscience to develop independently. Conscience is like having a ticket to a concert. It is the ear listening to the supernatural. The rhythm of the cosmic sphere is not up to us. Consciousness is a transcendent perspective allowing us to not need to go to the concert at all, or to go and not need to like the music necessarily. Mindfulness is a projection of this view within a personality. Consciousness is relying on faith that everything can fall away, even the personality, and creation will carry on more slowly.
When we stop using others to fill the void bored by insecurity and doubt, we grow to enjoy solitude. The more time spent in solitude alone, the more consciousness dawns in one’s own experience. This reverence creates a world for future composers, musicians and instrument-makers without the personal need for inner peace. It is the umpf to complete one’s task regardless of anything else. This is what a good husband and wife can offer one another, the willingness to not partake in anything which does not align with what the whole big picture condones. Conscience is a faculty I would venture even animals have. Human beings have a creative capacity to stand alone, even with the whole world against him or her, and choose whether to act intentionally or not. Animals have been around for longer, and they seem to have come to a consensus to live abiding by conscience and not harm the ecosystem. Homo sapiens can alter the ecosystem in ways other animals cannot, and this capacity is mostly done in the name of love, love which is held together by jealousy, guilt and pain. Is it really time for us to try and find a better way?
Death, fear and pain keep us on track. These are not conventions, which conscience is prey to. A pure conscience and consciousness are not equivalent. Conscience to stay in relationships stuck together by jealousy and guilt leads us far afield, and perhaps far towards our partial and impartial goals even, but it does not replace the glue which holds a happy marriage together. Conscience can be manipulated by desperate attempts to avoid the powerlessness we feel if one betrays the self. Wanting to avoid abandonment is only loving if it is wanting that for the other from the heart. Wanting that for oneself is not knowing who one really is and not having learned to appreciate solitude enough yet.
There is a concert playing between all the heartstrings, and this music will not cease. It is only in solitude when we have the chance now to stop, to train, to desire my own happiness. So, what is the glue. Just glue. Think of it. Glue. Who came up with that? It’s enough to blow your mind. Wordless, invisible quiet poetry. Artificial or organic, it is what it is. We can peel it off and start afresh, body, mind and soul.